Before you set goals for 2026, read this;
Your New Year’s resolutions will fail.
Sorry about that.
Not because you don’t want change enough, and not because you lack discipline or ambition. They fail because you try to build an insane amount of momentum on the creakiest of foundations. That is, you try to fix everything all at once. You add before you subtract. You demand results from systems that aren’t stable. So you burn through energy, feel briefly busy, maybe you see some minor results, then as the weeks turn into months, you become tired, bored,frustrated, and eventually cynical.
Maybe next year, eh?
A reset only works if it happens in the right order.
There is a sequence to rebuilding a life and an identity that actually works. I know that because I have lived it. I am living it, daily. The following essay is based on my own lived experience.
Don’t think you can skip a step without everything downstream becoming fragile. Force a later stage too early and it will collapse under pressure. This isn’t some pseudo masculine motivational bullshit or some vague mindset rewiring. This works. We’re going to remove interference first, then introduce structure, then earn leverage. The order matters here, because each stage creates the conditions required for the next one to work.
Reset
The first mistake people often make is trying to improve their output without changing their inputs.
A reset is not a glow-up or a reinvention. It’s a clean-up. You reduce noise before you add direction. You remove friction before you demand effort. That means clearing your physical space, simplifying your schedule, and reducing the constant background pull of notifications, news, and endless scrolling. If you want a peaceful, productive existence, you need a peaceful, productive environment.
This stage feels deceptively simple, which is why people skip it. As long as your environment is pulling you in ten different directions at the same time, your energy and focus will do the same. You’ll keep reacting instead of deciding. You’ll be starting days already behind.
If you want a calm day, you must arrive in a calm space. Our limited attention demands peace and minimal distractions to stabilise. And only then does discipline stop feeling like an ongoing battle.
protocol;
Clear your immediate environment
Clean your room. Clear your desk. Remove from sight anything you don’t use or need daily. Visual noise drains attention.Create a single, designated workspace
One place where work happens. No tv. No sofa. No multitasking zones.Remove frictionless distractions
Delete the apps you open without thinking. Log out of the rest. Consider ‘Greyscale’ for your iPhone. Make distraction inconvenient.Simplify your calendar
Cancel non-essential commitments for the month. Fewer inputs. Fewer obligations. More space.
Discipline
Despite what social media might scream at you whilst wearing a baggy gym t-shirt, discipline isn’t about intensity. It’s about reliability.
After a reset, the goal is not to do more, it’s actually to do less, consistently. Fixed wake times. Regular movement. Phone limits. A small number of non-negotiables you keep every day, even when motivation is low.
Especially when motivation is low.
This stage is where self-trust is built. Not confidence. Trust. You begin to believe that when you decide to do something, it gets done. That belief doesn’t come from big wins. It comes from boring little ones that compound over time.
Without this stage, everything happens in short bursts. You know what you should be doing, but it only ever shows up in flashes - a good morning here, a productive afternoon there. Nothing lasts long enough to build on. You’re constantly resetting, constantly feeling like you’re behind your own intentions.
With this stage in place, that stops. Your days begin to calm down into structure. Not because life gets easier, but because your behaviour starts to become predictable. You wake up when you said you would. You exercise when you said you would. You do the small things you promised yourself you’d do. There’s less drama, less scrambling, less feeling like you’re fighting the day from the moment it begins.
And once that stability exists, something very important changes. You’re no longer just trying to get through the day. You can actually notice how you’re showing up in it - how you speak, how you carry yourself, how you move through conversations and work. That little shift isn’t possible when everything feels chaotic and unorganised. It only happens once behaviour settles enough to give you some breathing room.
protocol;
Fix your wake-up time
Same time, every day. No negotiating. Get the fuck up. Consistency beats early starts.Choose 2–3 daily non-negotiables
Example: walk, gym, writing, reading. Small enough that you can’t talk yourself out of them.Set a hard stop for the day
Decide when work ends. Discipline collapses without firm boundaries.Track completion, not performance
Did you show up? Yes or no. No scoring. No optimization. Just straight facts.
Presence
Presence isn’t about being seen. Or even necessarily image. It’s about coherence.
A version of you that speaks slowly and with intention, and listens properly. A version of you that takes care of their appearance, not for attention, but because it changes how you carry yourself through the day. Clean grooming. Simple clothes. Fewer decisions, more intention.
I’m not for a second suggesting you need to be wearing a shirt and tie all day, or sat at home in an expensive trouser-suit. It’s far more basic, but arguably more important than that.
It’s about taking basic care of things you used to rush past or ignore. Clean grooming. Simple clothes you don’t have to think about. A uniform that suits the direction you’re headed. I favour smart comfortable joggers and oversized tshirts, so I purchase multiple versions. Fewer decisions that drain my energy before the day has even started, and more intention about where my energy actually goes. Zero performance. Zero correction. Easy presence.
Presence only works once discipline exists underneath it. Without that foundation, it’s just aesthetics - a surface-level attempt to look put together while everything underneath is still unstable. But when presence is earned, it changes how you’re treated, how you move through situations, and how seriously you take your own time.
We all get anxious before social situations, even the most confident looking amongst us, still take a deep breath before entering a busy room, so give yourself some grace. The worst thing you can do if you’re feeling out of place, or over-anxious, is open your mouth. How many times have you come away from an event, or a meeting, and thought “I wish I hadn’t said that”? So shut the fuck up. Smile. Listen. If someone says something interesting, or shares an opinion that peaks your interest, ask them a question about it. Asking questions not only shows that you’re present and engaged and thoughtful, but it also places the focus away from your anxious self.
If in doubt. Smile and be mysterious.
protocol;
Standardise how you dress
Simple, repeatable outfits. Fewer choices in the morning means less mental drain and more consistency.Clean up grooming and posture
Haircut. Shave. Clothes that fit. Stand up straight. Presence starts physically, whether you like it or not.Listen more than you talk
Stop rushing to fill silence. Let people finish their thoughts. Pay attention instead of preparing your response. You’ll learn more, say less, and come across calmer and more deliberate.Slow your speech
Speak more deliberately. Pause before responding. Drop the habit of filling space just to feel comfortable.Remove low-grade obligations
Stop saying yes to things you resent. Spend your energy intentionally.
Mind
Clear thinking is not a personality trait. It’s a by-product of stability.
Once your days are predictable and your energy is no longer scattered, your judgement improves. You react less. You pause more. You start noticing patterns, both in yourself and in other people, in situations you used to rush into and through.
This is where reading becomes your biggest ally. Learning. Expanding your knowledge on a given subject. Becoming more interesting. Holding deeper opinions. Reshaping your neural pathways. Developing emotional resilience. All of this from reading.
Calm your mind first, then fill it full of fascinating things. Make thinking selective.
Deep research > Deep Learning > Deep Thought
And selectivity is the ambition with this stage.
Selective thinking is the ability to;
decide what deserves cognitive bandwidth
filter inputs before they become beliefs
refuse to treat all information as equally relevant, urgent, or true
It is thinking deliberately.
You will come to realise that not everything matters, not every opinion deserves airtime and not every feeling requires action. Selective thinking can protect your new identity by controlling what enters your internal dialogue.
If it doesn’t align with;
your values
your direction
your standards
…it doesn’t get a seat at the table.
In a world built to fragment attention, the ability to exclude is more important than the ability to understand.
protocol;
Reduce information intake
Fewer podcasts. Fewer opinions. One or two high-quality sources only.Write before you consume
Journal, plan, or think on paper before you move. This stops external thinking from hijacking yours.Delay decisions by 24 hours
Especially emotional ones. Let reactivity burn off first.Audit your assumptions weekly
Ask: “What am I assuming is true that might not be?”
Value
Value is built, not imagined.
At this point, you have the discipline to show up, the presence to be taken seriously, and the judgement to choose what matters. Now you can build. A skill. A project. A body of work. Something valuable. Something you care about. Something that compounds with time instead of resetting every Monday.
This is where most people want to start, and why they fail. They skip to this stage, fail to stick to the task at hand beyond the end of January, get frustrated and think “I’m not capable”.
Value creation demands consistency, restraint, and long-term thinking. Without the earlier stages, people burn out, pivot too often, or quit when the novelty inevitably wears off.
Here, effort finally pays off because it’s applied in the right direction, with clarity. And once you’ve built something real, the final stage becomes possible; refinement.
protocol;
Pick one skill or project
One. Not three. Not five. Something useful and measurable. Something you’re interested in.Time-block it daily
Same time, same place. Treat it like a job, not a hobby.Ship something messy and imperfect
Publish. Launch. Finish. Completion matters more than polish.Track progress weekly
Output produced, not effort expended.
Refinement
Refinement is not change. It’s the consolidation phase.
Sit down. Look back at what you’ve achieved since you started. Review what worked. What didn’t. Study the mistakes forensically. What have you learned? How can you protect your time, your energy, and your attention more aggressively than before? Learn to move slower, but with intent. Less noise. Fewer commitments. Higher standards.
By now, you’re no longer chasing a different life. You’re simply maintaining one you’ve built deliberately. The work becomes quieter. More strategic. Less visible. More effective.
Transformations are rarely dramatic. Ignore the montage from that action movie where the hero changes his/her life. They are slow and methodical. They require daily commitment, thoughtful endeavor, and the ability to keep going when every sinew of the identity you’ve lived with for so long, is screaming at you to turn back.
protocol;
Cut what didn’t work
Projects, habits, people, commitments. Be ruthless. If it’s not moving you forwards, its holding you back.Double down on the top 20%
The few things producing most of the progress.Tighten boundaries
Fewer meetings. Fewer conversations. Fewer distractions. Move with intent.Rebuild the next cycle intentionally
Carry forward only what earns its place. Disregard what doesn’t.
I’m sharing this with you, for the simple reason that I know it works. I am living proof that change requires systems, guidelines, and data analysis. That’s the reason I’ve created protocol - it is the value stage of the exact system you’ve just read about. If I can do it, I guarantee you can too.
Progress is inevitable.
Happy New Year.
Take Care
- James
