Change your life. Go to the gym.

A few years ago, I really felt I was going nowhere.
I had (in no particular order) No plan. No structure. No discipline.

One night, scrolling through old photos from my honeymoon in Mexico, I stopped. Amongst the snaps of us visiting ancient Mayan ruins, and posing in daft sombreros, were some photos we’d taken on a disposable underwater camera. I gasped. Lit by the warm Mexican sunshine, there I was, swimming in a t-shirt, like a child whose parents were protecting him from sunburn. I scrolled further. There I was topless. Bloated. I felt ashamed. 

Everything in my life was about consuming - time, energy, booze, drugs, food, attention, but nothing was being created.

A few days later, I stood under the harsh bathroom light, looked in the mirror, and saw the cost of it all. I didn’t recognise myself - physically, mentally, emotionally. And right there, without a plan, I decided to go to the gym.

No grand vision for change. No real motivation other than self loathing. Disgust. And a quiet promise to myself: this ends right fucking now.

I don’t want to sound dramatic, but that single decision - to train before I “felt ready,” to build before I understood how - changed my entire life. It wasn’t just that I was out of shape, moreso,  there really wasn’t a single part of my existence that I was satisfied with. Time then, to take action.

Everything starts with fitness.

Want a successful business? Go to the gym. Looking for a healthy relationship? Go to the gym. You want to change your outlook and the direction your life is headed? Gym.

It seems to me that people try to change their lives in the wrong order.
They chase clarity, confidence, purpose and a direction, all while neglecting the one thing that teaches all three.

They start with theory.
They read books, listen to motivational podcasts, start journaling, sign up to expensive courses.
They build vision boards and write affirmations. They convince themselves that if they can just think differently, they’ll feel differently, and if they feel differently, they’ll finally act differently.

But that’s not, in my opinion, how it works.
Change doesn’t start in your head.
It starts in your body.

If you can’t keep a promise to yourself for one hour a day, nothing else you build will last.
Because the gym isn’t about developing muscles (although they’re nice to have) and strength (essential if you don’t want to slowly fall to bits). It’s about what the gym teaches you.

It teaches you to show up when you don’t feel like it.
It teaches you to tolerate immediate discomfort without the guarantee of success.
It teaches you to fail, recover, and return again.

Most people want to change their life without ever confronting themselves.
The gym removes that option.

You can’t lie to yourself under a barbell.
The mirrored wall by the free weights won’t flatter you.
The rep-count won’t bend to your excuses.

It’s the most honest place you’ll ever stand.

And if you stay there long enough, everything else begins to change with you.

Think of fitness like the classroom for every skill that actually matters.

It teaches delayed gratification - the art of showing up before the results appear.
You train today, and tomorrow, and the next day, sometimes for weeks, knowing it might be months before you see anything in return. And that patience bleeds into the rest of your life - into your work, your relationship with money, with love, and with learning. You stop expecting instant results, and embrace slow processes.

It teaches discipline - doing it when no one’s watching. I remember vividly leaving a commercial gym in the middle of a freezing February night, feeling a sense of pride that I hadn't felt for years, simply because I showed up, when I didn't need to.
No applause. No validation. Just a silent promise between you and the person you want to become. You show up anyway.

It teaches consistency - the muscle most people never manage to build.
Repetition without boredom. Effort without reward. It’s the grind that sharpens you into someone dependable - not to others, but to yourself. You become someone you can trust. And there’s so much value in that, I promise you. 

And most of all, it teaches self-respect.
Self respect can’t be bought, borrowed, or performed. It comes from doing what you said you’d do - especially when nobody else is looking, or even cares.

The gym will give you back your dignity.

You start walking taller, eating better, going to bed earlier, rising earlier, thinking clearer, showing more patience and making better decisions. It will literally change your life. 

You start to look better and feel younger

• Exercise helps circulate oxygen and nutrients to the skin and other areas of the body. Oxygen accelerates the wound-healing process and aids in cell regeneration, so the skin can maintain a healthier glow. 

You have more energy. 

• Exercise rewires your energy system. It forces your body to build more mitochondria - the engines that turn food and oxygen into fuel, and pushes more oxygen through every cell. The result is that you produce energy faster, use it better, and feel alive again.

Your sleep improves. 

• Exercise increases the production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep-wake cycles. As a result, exercise helps you fall asleep faster and sleep better. 

You start planning your days around training, which starts to give your life structure.

And for one hour a day, you’re unreachable. No phone. No noise. No notifications.
That hour is therapy, silence, and mindfulness - all sneakily disguised as effort.

Protocol;

Pick one gym. Closest to home or work. Don’t shop around. 

Go at quiet times. Early morning or late evening. Fewer people, fewer eyes, fewer excuses.

Have a plan. Three full-body sessions a week. Write down what you did. Repeat it next time.

Wear what feels good. Comfort first. Confidence follows.

Use headphones. Put on your favourite playlist. Make it your space.

Ask for help if you need it. Trainers exist for this. Use them. Learn the basics.

Treat the hour as non-negotiable. This is the only hour in the day that’s entirely yours.

It’s strange how often the lessons of the gym mirror the lessons of life;

You can’t lift heavy right away - so you start small.
You can’t skip steps - progress has to be earned.
You can’t cheat the form - shortcuts hurt you more than they help you.
You can’t hide from effort - every rep reveals whether you’ve done the work or not.

And the longer you train, the more those lessons start bleeding into everything else.

You become more patient with people.
More forgiving of failure.
More grounded when everything around you is falling apart.

Because you’ve learned, firsthand, through repetition and hard work, that the only way out is through. That’s the real power. Not the abs, or the biceps, or the juicy round ass -  it’s the quiet confidence of knowing you can handle more than you thought.

The gym becomes your anchor - not because it fixes you, but because it reminds you that you can fix yourself.

And it's addictive, in the best way. 

You start to crave that version of yourself -  the one who finishes sets even when his arms are shaking, the one who drags herself out of bed when the old version would’ve stayed put, the one who no longer negotiates with weakness.

This isn’t some pseudo masculine bullshit. It's not about being ‘hard’ or macho or militant. It’s about choosing self-respect over self-pity. Choosing long-term peace over short-term comfort.

A lot of people think of the gym as punishment - “I ate a McDonalds so I must spend an hour on the treadmill to make up for it.” It’s not. It’s like a continuous rehearsal for the life you want to lead.

Every day, you practise doing something hard on purpose.
And if you can choose, every day, hardship voluntarily, life’s inevitable hardships start to lose their edge. 

It’s not easy. I’m not going to sit here and pretend you can just flick a switch and find that immediate level of commitment, all I can do is tell you it’s worth it. If you’re unhappy with where you are in your life right now, then just start. One Day, or, Day One. 

Everything starts with fitness.
You have no idea what you’re capable of. 

Take care

- James