James Sutton

Helping you build structure, direction and identity, in a chaotic post self-help world.

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The Problem With Self-Help

Self-help lives in the future. “Your best life is waiting.” “Step into your higher self.” “Become the version of you who doesn’t hesitate.” “Design your ideal life.” Everything it promises sits just ahead of where you are now; the better body, the clearer mind, the calmer relationships, the version

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The Morning Routine That Changed My Life

Imagine waking up and the first thought you have is a grateful one. Grateful for a new day, excited for what you might accomplish, fully aligned with the direction this day is taking.  For clarity, this isn't a letter on gratitude, it's a letter about structure.

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Stop saying you’re “Fine”

For as long as I can remember, if someone asked how I was, I told them I was fine. It wasn’t true. I was anything but. “Functioning”, yes. “Fine”, no. [Read also; motionless.] “Fine” is a remarkably efficient word. It does 3 things; It reassures the other person, ends

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How To Re-build Self Trust

Your self-trust fades over time. I know this from experience.  Worn down by small compromises we barely even notice when we’re making them. You say you’ll start tomorrow. You absolutely don’t. You say you’ll stop doing the thing that’s draining your energy. Again, you don’

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Your Future Self Doesn’t Care If You’re Ready

We’re full of hesitation, overthinking, caution, rational fears, irrational fears, stories we’ve inherited, and habits we’ve rehearsed for years. These are common traits in almost all of us, an unfortunate part of the human experience. They stop us from taking risks, backing ourselves and moving forward with

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Future-proof Your Career

How To Build A Presence So many of you try to escape your lives through side hustles, shortcuts, crypto phases, online schemes, new qualifications, new identities, anything that promises a quick shift in direction. But the only path that actually works, consistently, the only one that doesn’t rely on

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Stop Being Programmed

You’re told what to think from the day you’re born. Parents, teachers, religion, media, social circles, algorithms - they all hand you opinions, identities, enemies, heroes. No one sits you down and says: “This is how you test an idea before you let it inside your head.” Critical

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You Don’t Need A New Life - You Need A New Identity.

There comes a point where you look at your life and decide something drastic needs to change. New job. New city. New relationship. New routine. You convince yourself that if you could just reshuffle the external pieces, everything would fall into place. A fresh start feels like the cleanest solution.

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Run your life like a business.

There was a period in my thirties where my life looked stable on the outside but felt strangely un-led on the inside. I wasn’t falling apart per-say, but I wasn’t moving toward anything either. My days were full but directionless. I’d wake up, handle whatever felt urgent,

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Stop Letting Embarrassment Rule Your Life

I embarrass myself, on average twice a week. I know this because 6 months ago I started keeping score. And now I get to share the results of my own ‘embarrassment study’ with you. Back in June, I was embarrassing myself almost every day. Sometimes twice a day. The ‘cringe’

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Get Bored. Get better.

You want to change because you feel stuck. Your life has become a perpetual loop. Get up. Do the same shit. Lie in bed at night. Wish things were different. Same mornings. Same evenings. Same patterns. Same thoughts. A foreboding sense that time is passing quicker and you’re not

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Go Forth and Fail.

Failure isn’t the opposite of progress. Nor is it a sign that you’re on the wrong path, not capable, or not worthy. It’s proof. For, without failure, there is no data. And without data, there is no growth. Therefore, you must learn to fail properly. Don’t

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What Are You Really Worth?

“Know your worth.” A phrase so overused it’s lost all weight. It’s become a slogan. A transparent Instagram caption, recycled by every self-appointed life philosopher masquerading as self-awareness. But beneath the cliché sits one of the most complex psychological questions a person can actually wrestle with; What am

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You’re Too Comfortable

For the first time in my adult life, I’m completely alone. No partner. No one to lean on. No one checking in. Just me. I wake up alone, I eat alone, train alone, walk alone and go to bed alone. I'm not saying this to brag to

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If you don’t know where to start, start by being useful.

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” - Helen Keller If you feel stuck, if your daily practises, outlook and relationships, both with others and yourself, are not sustaining you, if you feel

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Change your life. Go to the gym.

A few years ago, I really felt I was going nowhere. I had (in no particular order) No plan. No structure. No discipline. One night, scrolling through old photos from my honeymoon in Mexico, I stopped. Amongst the snaps of us visiting ancient Mayan ruins, and posing in daft sombreros,

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This Is Why You Don’t Trust Yourself Anymore

This might be the first long form content I’ve written about exercise, that isn’t about getting fit. It’s about trust. The following letter contains no workout routines, no prose on how lifting weights will make you sleep better, and no pseudo-masculine discussion on how throwing weights around

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Your Friendships Are Investments.

Curate them accordingly. “How many friends have I really got? That love me, that want me, that'll take me as l am…? The Who - How Many Friends (1975) I have five close friends. Five people I speak to regularly, go to for advice, confide in, share ideas

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Your Phone Is Stealing Your Identity

Break the loop or become it Your eyes flutter open. You try to gauge the time from the early morning light seeping through the blinds. It’s still early. You unlock your phone and ten people’s social lives invade your head all at the same time. Your melatonin drops

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Practise Being Disliked.

Not everyone craves to be liked. Some people want power. Others want money. Some want to be feared or admired. But almost no one wants to be disliked. For most of human history, being disliked by your tribe was a death sentence - you risked being exiled. And exile meant

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Discipline is self love.

Epictetus;- “No man is free who is not master of himself.” Discipline is not a soft word. It begins with “dis–”, a dull thud that drops flat out of the mouth, like a sigh that’s already given up. Then comes “ci–”, clipped and caught at the back of

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It’s Time To Start Reframing The Way You See Your Life.

Most of what happens to us is neutral. I used to believe that every relationship that ended was a failure. That I’d not only let myself down, but I’d let my parents and my friends down. I mistook their disappointment for me, to disappointment in me. I’d

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Authenticity Costs More

I’ve spent my whole adult life playing roles. Nearly 20 years. On stage. On screen. Good men, bad men, funny men. Men that break into song in the middle of a conversation. Men that commit unspeakable acts. Men from all walks of life. Men I've liked, that

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Mindset protocol

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Business protocol